When are they going to retire?

The Real World has been airing on MTV for over 18 seasons now. Road Rules aired shortly thereafter, a sort of spin off of The Real World after it became such a hit for the station. Then low and behold, just like Brangelina these two super entities were combined to create one of the most addicting reality television show ever. Enter: The Real World Road Rules Challenge.

The major plotline of this show is crazy middle-aged contestants engaging in bisexual rendezvous and nerf related athletic challenges. I know, sounds awesome. But my question is, when are these contestants ever going to retire?

This challenge show has been on for quite some time, and it seems as every new season approaches, the show is still polluted with the same 4 aging reality stars from seasons of Real World or Road Rules that aired almost 10 years ago.

Mark Long, one of the original cast mates of the first season of Road Rules, is pushing his mid 30’s and has the forehead wrinkles to prove it. Long has never actually won a challenge but has continuously shown up to pound tequila shots with a mix of 20-somethings and gel his faux-hawk.

“C.T.” Tamborello, a local from Methuen, Ma, has been on over 6 seasons of this show and has been disqualified from more then half due to fighting. “CT,” who looks to be about 300 pounds of pure muscle, tends to get so wasted during the premiere episode of each challenge that a typical fight ensues with some other new cast mate. This obviously gets him booted before the challenge even starts.  

Beth Stolarczyk, a sassy blonde who loves the drama, is literally pushing 40 years old with no Challenge end in sight. Stolarczyk is constantly mocked and made fun of by the younger contestants, called the Devil and told she is hated, yet she still re-signs for the Challenge with each new season that airs.

Coral Smith, the loud-mouthed “bitch” seems to get into a war of words with every contestant. She is always right, always voicing her opinion and always talking about her new found life as a lesbian. Coral was on the Real World over 10 years ago and still has the same loud, obnoxious voice she did back then.

While the show is entertaining, I’m really starting to get some sort of form of secondhand  embarrassment  here. Is participating in “human ice louge” games at the age of 40 considered a successful career move, even if these contestants have never once actually won a challenge? Please retire folks, for me.