One Tree Hill Disappoints

One of my favorite television shows right now is One Tree Hill. During the first four seasons that it aired, I refused to watch it and get sucked into another melodrama about high school kids and there pregnancy scares. 

But, after the discovery of the Soap Network last semester in between studying for finals, I found myself getting sucked right into the One Tree Hill world. Sure, the fact that the cast plays 22 year olds who are professional basketball players and own their own fashion lines is a little far fetched, it still reeled me in and I’ve seen every episode and became an avid fan.

The two main stars of the show, Hilarie Burton and Chad Michael Murray, have had rumors swirling around them all season that they were both not going to renew their contracts. As the sixth season finale approached, they both finally confirmed that it was true and that the characters of Peyton Sawyer and Lucas Scott would no longer be on the cast. 

So, just like any other OTH fan, I was in a state of pure panic for the season finale. How would it all end? Were they both going to be killed off? Was Peyton going to die sending Lucas into a crazy tail spin causing him to leave town? I had so many questions. I could not wait.

As quickly as the season finale came, it went, leaving little excitement or plot twists. Peyton and Lucas got married, gave birth to their child and then literally drove off into the sunset. That was it. 

What exactly is going to happen now? I’m confused and sad and cannot believe I have to wait a whole year to find out how the writers are going to come back from that disaster. 

That really grinds my gears...

Pet peeves are things that really bother and annoy people. I’ve decided to take this time to make a quick reference of all things that have really been grinding my gears lately. This will be quite therapeutic for me. I’m hoping that if I get it all out in writing, I can stop letting these irritating annoyances from ruining my day.

Wet socks. There is nothing worse then wet socks. I was running into work, late mind you, the other day when I literally jumped foot first into what felt like a 4 foot puddle. My right sneaker was submerged underwater leaving me with one, single, wet sock. I had to walk around work all night with my foot and sneaker making that unbearable “squishing” noise with a cold, damp foot. It was the pits.

Sitting on the same side of the table/booth when out to eat with someone. Why do people do this? It literally boggles my mind. I don’t understand how it’s comfortable or even practical to sit next to, rather then across from someone, at a restaurant. It’s like both of your necks are at a 45 degree angle as you try to eat your food and carry on a conversation without looking completely ridiculous.

People who only talk about drinking. I get it, you’re 21, you’re in college, you drink. Is it really necessary to broadcast to the entire class room how many beers you drank last night or involve the phrase “I was so hammered last night” in every sentence? I can’t decide if these people really have nothing else to talk about or actually think it makes them look cool to talk about booze so much.

Everybody Loves Raymond reruns. Okay, this is a funny show. I’ll watch it and definitely find myself cracking up. But doesn’t it seem like this show is syndicated on every single channel? It’s like every afternoon, dinner time and late night television slots are filled with reruns of this show. It really is an overkill.

Well, now I feel better.  

When are they going to retire?

The Real World has been airing on MTV for over 18 seasons now. Road Rules aired shortly thereafter, a sort of spin off of The Real World after it became such a hit for the station. Then low and behold, just like Brangelina these two super entities were combined to create one of the most addicting reality television show ever. Enter: The Real World Road Rules Challenge.

The major plotline of this show is crazy middle-aged contestants engaging in bisexual rendezvous and nerf related athletic challenges. I know, sounds awesome. But my question is, when are these contestants ever going to retire?

This challenge show has been on for quite some time, and it seems as every new season approaches, the show is still polluted with the same 4 aging reality stars from seasons of Real World or Road Rules that aired almost 10 years ago.

Mark Long, one of the original cast mates of the first season of Road Rules, is pushing his mid 30’s and has the forehead wrinkles to prove it. Long has never actually won a challenge but has continuously shown up to pound tequila shots with a mix of 20-somethings and gel his faux-hawk.

“C.T.” Tamborello, a local from Methuen, Ma, has been on over 6 seasons of this show and has been disqualified from more then half due to fighting. “CT,” who looks to be about 300 pounds of pure muscle, tends to get so wasted during the premiere episode of each challenge that a typical fight ensues with some other new cast mate. This obviously gets him booted before the challenge even starts.  

Beth Stolarczyk, a sassy blonde who loves the drama, is literally pushing 40 years old with no Challenge end in sight. Stolarczyk is constantly mocked and made fun of by the younger contestants, called the Devil and told she is hated, yet she still re-signs for the Challenge with each new season that airs.

Coral Smith, the loud-mouthed “bitch” seems to get into a war of words with every contestant. She is always right, always voicing her opinion and always talking about her new found life as a lesbian. Coral was on the Real World over 10 years ago and still has the same loud, obnoxious voice she did back then.

While the show is entertaining, I’m really starting to get some sort of form of secondhand  embarrassment  here. Is participating in “human ice louge” games at the age of 40 considered a successful career move, even if these contestants have never once actually won a challenge? Please retire folks, for me.  

Crackberry4Life

I was the first one of my friends to ever have a cell phone. I got it as a birthday present when I turned 16 years old. I remember showing it to everyone, bragging about how small it was and that it was the "size of my hand!" Granted, I have pretty small almost carnie-like hands, but looking back at that old piece of junk I've realized that it was almost comparable in size to Zach Morris' bulky phone piece. 

Years went by, and upgrades went unused and I found myself using the same cell phone for the better half of a decade. I don't even understand how it was even compatible with newer phones and programs. It had no color features: only a green screen and one font. It could not go on the internet, I could not download ringtones and I could not text anyone (Gasp!).

Finally, after an intervention with my friends telling me I desperately needed to upgrade my piece, I succombed to the pressure and bought myself a Blackberry. 

Talk about an upgrade. Having this this phone is like carrying a mini personal assistant in my purse. I can simultaneously check my calender, complete my to do list, call a friend, poke someone special on Facebook and navigate my way through Boston, all the while purchasing a small island off the Florida. 

But with all these amazing and life changing features, come one problem: the blackberry addiction. 

I'm utterly addicted to my phone like a bad habbit. I sleep with my blackberry on the unused pillow next to me in bed. I check my phone when I know no one has called. I hold my phone in my hand when I walk to class, go grocery shopping and even while I drive just incase I get some sort of new notification. 

I have no purpose for having a Blackberry other then the fact that I had a free upgrade, but I love every second of owning one now. I feel like I should own some sort of members only jacket and beep at people who pass me that are holding one too. You know, the whole "It's a Jeep Thing" campaign?

All in all, I'm glad my friends intervened with my age-old cell phone and made me upgrade. However, they may have a new intervention slowly approaching... 

This is NOT the Cheesecake Factory

I've been waitressing for quite a few years now and even though the money is outstanding: the job itself makes me want to throw glass objects at walls.

I've dealt with the craziest of crazies during my time as a server. While the policy that the "customer is always right" should always be applied, I think I'm officially burnt out because it literally does not apply anymore. I have no more tolerance for erractic customer behavior anymore.

At work the other night, I walked over to my first table and noticed a sweet and lovely couple in their 60's waiting patiently for my arrival. Before I could even pronounce the J in my first name I was cut off by the woman sitting as she barked, "How is your coffee here? Because everytime I go to the Cheesecake Factory it's terrible."

Seeing as though I don't work at the Cheesecake Factory and I haven't even been awknowledged as a human being yet - you can imagine how the rest of the night went with this couple.

If there was a complaint or comment box, this couple would have filled it. But let bring you to the best part of the story, 4 cups of coffee later, I bring the bill over to the table when the grumpiest woman on earth decides to tell me that, "the coffee wasn't even drinkable, just to let you know." Not even awknowledging her coffee comment, since she downed 4 cups, I told them they could pay whenever they were ready. This is when Sir Grumps-A-Lot proceeded to say, "Well since you are not taking the coffee off of the bill, it's my birthday so can you give me my free dessert now."

With steam pouring out of my ears I tell her we do not give away free desserts for birthdays but she can buy one and I'll even stick a candle in it for her!

In absolute disgust, she shakes her head at her husband and turns back to me and says, "Well, the Cheesecake Factory always gives me a free dessert on my birthday."

Graduation day can't come soon enough. Goodbye waitressing for-ev-er.

Kevin James: Unemployment's Unsung Hero.

Recently, my boyfriend was laid off from his daytime job.

Cooincidentally, two of his best friends were also laid off around the same and within the past 2 months of each other.

While their daily struggle to find new employment has been vigourous at first, the 3 of them have now found solice and comfort in one common bond: their love for Kevin James.

I'm not quite sure when it happened, or how it happened, but Kevin James has somehow been annointed the unemployed's daytime hero.

I am literally plagued with the phrase, "Kevin James is my hero," from all 3 everytime I see one of them.

Sure, I’ve caught a few episodes of "King of Queens" before and I’ve had my share of laughs at Kevin James bumbling around life like a bull in a china shop, but I still don’t see the connection. All these 3 do now is discuss the crazy hijinx that “Doug Heffernan” got himself into that afternoon.

Does the idea of an overweight middle aged man who drives a UPS truck and has a “bangin” wife bring some sense of comfort to unemployed men everywhere? Is it some sort of symbolism that I am not understanding? Is Doug really showing everyone that everything is going to be okay? What is it about this fast food eating, short-shorts wearing guy that brings smiles to grown men’s faces?

I guess I may never know. But what I do know is that until my boyfriend finds another job, I’ll be subjected to a lot more “King of Queens” reruns.

Why didn't I think of that...

I'm always thinking. I'm always trying to come up with a funny catch phrase and hope they stick. I'm always tossing and turning at night in bed trying to think of amazing inventions to make a quick million. But time and time again, I will see a new product, a new commercial, a new website or hear a new catch phrase and think to myself, "Why didn't I think of that?!"

I pretty much thought the Sham-Wow guy was a genious, until I went on to TMZ.com and saw the pictures of the prostitute he beat up recently after a wild night in Las Angeles. But my new and latest fascination is this website TFLN.com I've discovered.

TFLN stands for "Texts From Last Night." Pretty self explanatory. People can just log on to the website and send in any funny texts that might have been sent the night before. And people will literally send in anything. It's a judgement free zone. I guess it has to be when you read about some kid named Adam texting his friend's mother for a booty call.

After reading pages and pages of entries, I found myself logging off SEVERAL hours later. It's flipping hilarious. The texts just do not get old.

I sat there staring at my computer and decided that I was 10% happy for finding this website of high comical value and 90% jealous I had nothing to do with it's existence. I found myself asking the same old question, "Why didn't I think of that!?" Needless to say I was again frustrated.

I think it's about time I start keeping a journal of my ideas and thoughts from now on. After all, I'm still convinced I came up with the idea for Facebook during a drunken conversation with my college roommates.